In the past few months, I have . . . uh . . . gained some weight. Now, I wasn’t skinny to begin with, mind you. I never have been. In fact, at the end of high school, I was tipping the scales at 250 pounds. Two years in chicago later and I was down to 170. When I returned to the sedentary lifestyle and high-fat diet of northern minnesota, I gained a bit of that back. I had been sitting at around 180 since about 2007. I’d adjusted to being a size 14, being curvy, and being able to shop in normal stores.
However, in the past 6 months, things have changed.
I have always been known in my family for being a bit of a weakling. I don’t lift a lot of boxes on moving days, I don’t do yardwork, running for “fun” is completely and totally out of the question, and I get sick if I work more than about 20 hours a week. My mom always just thought I was lazy. But, everything has always been really hard for me. I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been at least a little bit in pain.
As I eluded to before, about 6 months ago it got worse. A lot worse. I was spending entire days in bed because I was so tired and in so much pain. I finally went to the doctor and they ran a bunch of tests. None of them came back with unusual results, so they diagnosed me with depression, gave me a prescription, and sent me on my way.
I find it strange how drugs are the first thing doctors try. The drugs have to be fairly unsuccessful before they even consider the nonpharmesutical option of therapy . . . Anyway, story . . .
The drugs only sort of worked, my mood was better, but I was still always worn out and sore. In march, my doctors finally considered another diagnosis: fibromyalgia. It’s a chronic pain condition. I had all the classic symptoms, widespread pain, specific tender areas, chronic exhaustion, sensitivity to certain sensations, symptoms of depression and anxiety, et cetera.
This diagnosis actually made me really happy. It was an answer, finally. I’d been suffering all of my adult life with these problems and the fibromyalgia diagnosis made sense. The part I was less excited about was the treatment: more drugs. But I was willing to try them. Hell, I was willing to try anything.
The good news is that this time they worked. The pain is fairly well controlled and I have very few days that I have to spend in bed. The bad news is that one of the side effects is weight gain. I have gained 20 pounds since I started the medication. I’m back up to 200 and none too happy about it. Where six months ago I was wearing a size 14, now I can barely button a 16 and dreading the thought of having to shop at lane bryant again.
With that rant over, I announce a new project . . . I am actively trying to lose weight for the first time ever. I’d like to not be overweight anymore, but let’s shoot for losing that obese tag first.
The first step in my plan is to blog what I eat. Everything I eat. It means I’m holding myself accountable for everything that goes into my mouth. The second step involves rollerderby. I’ll discuss that later.
This begins today . . . Technically. After I go to bed and then wake up again, that is. Wish me luck in my journey towards a healthy weight, I’ll need it. And if you have stories or advice to share concerning fibromyalgia, I would love to hear from you. I’m the only person I know with the condition, not feeling so alone with it would be nice.